On Trust

This week’s painting practice got me working on my ability to trust. To trust myself and have faith. To maintain my level of hope that I will be able to find my own way through.

I recently began my prep for a new art commission–and a super fun one to boot! I’m gearing myself up to begin painting a massive art piece that’s gonna take some time to complete. I want to be able to organize myself, plan for the upcoming challenges, and get ready to tackle it with brazen focus and determination.

It’s always daunting to start. So I’ve been painting samples here and there to warm up, and these exercise have unknowingly made me come face-to-face with something that I think plagues most (if not all) artists and/or creatives. The idea that things have to be perfect on the first go, that there’s a “right” way to do things, and that nagging self-doubt that decides it can stop by any time and doesn’t need any invites.

I must say, this has never gone away for me. I’ve been able to challenge it with helpful affirmations and cognitive reframes. Sometimes it wins. But sometimes, I yell back. I don’t think it will ever go away for someone like me. I know the double-edged sword that a good, insightful perspective can bring, but I also fear the other end. What’s changed the game for me is the awareness about what the heck is happening in my mind. That it’s normal, and it’s just one of the 60,000 different thoughts that come in and out of our mind each day. No big. As quickly as it entered my awareness, I have the ability to let it float on by. Guess it’s up to me to always rein in the horses when they get too wild.

Or in this case, elephants?

Heh.

Stay tuned for updates on this art piece! And if you are interested in your very own art commissions, let’s talk.

Danessa